My husband and I have been married for nearly 6 years now. In that time, we have been blessed with three wonderful boys. I was 19 years old when we got married, he was 20. We met, began courting, got engaged, and got married, all within a year. Although this is really quickly, we had spent many hours in prayer about our decision to marry, and God confirmed it time and time again. Crazy, you say? Maybe. Incredibly rewarding? Definitely yes! Here’s why:
1. We prayed and God confirmed through many ways that we were to be married, so why would we wait?
God shows up and answers prayer differently and uniquely for each person. He knows us so intimately that He knows what will get our attention and feel like an answer to prayer. A few of the ways which He confirmed our decision for us was that our pastor’s wife approached us separately without knowledge that we even knew each other, let alone just began a courtship, and old us that she had been praying a lot and that God had highlighted us two to her to work together in a ministry that she had hoped to start. When we met, I heard a Christian love and marriage song for the first time that same day. I then woke up to that same song at various times in the morning every single day for months. Yes, I used to play my radio all night. There were various more confirmations though our devotions, prayers, scripture reading, and through other people as well.
We had the confirmation. We were really compatible. His strengths filled in my weaknesses and my strengths filled in his. We were compatible when it came to how we viewed our future and the ways that we lived. There was no point to date for a long period before the decision of marriage was made. What would that accomplish? I believe if we had waited unnecessarily, it would have allowed more room for the enemy to come in and try to divide and conquer before we had been joined as one.
“Two are better than one because they have a more satisfying return for their labor; for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and does not have another to lift him up. Again, if two lie down together, then they keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? And though one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
2. We were not established separately yet, so we had the opportunity to grow together as one.
My husband lived at home when we met and were courting. I had moved out from my home at an early age, but was too young to establish a normal routine. We had not yet established our careers, but both had steady jobs and no debt. Some might view that as being a poor decision because we hadn’t established careers yet, but I view it as a wonderful opportunity for intimacy as we grew and made decisions together. We loved and were committed to each other not just for our career or financial status, which so easily changes, but for who the other person was at the core of who they were.
We have been through a few moves, a couple of job changes, health issues, and three pregnancies and children, and we hold love for each other no matter what change happens. I’m not saying that it was without hardship- there has been heart break along the way. I’m saying that if we went into marriage with the expectation of what careers would look like, finances would be, bodies would stay like, and more, I believe that we wouldn’t have been as open to the changes and growing closer in them. We have grown so much emotionally, spiritually, and mentally in the past 6 years, and we got to do it together. It won’t be that long into our life that we will have been together longer than we were apart, and that is really exciting!
3. We are young while raising our children and will still be young when our children grow up.
Three boys only 3 years apart in total is a fairly large undertaking. I am really glad that I am young and have energy. It also give opportunity for the option to foster or adopt children when ours are a bit older, which is something that has been on my heart. We will still be young enough to do that. When our youngest child (so far) turns 18, I will be 42 years old. My husband will be 43 and God-willing, we will still have a lot of years of life after our child raising years.
4. We have grown exponentially as individuals in our time being married.
This is probably a pretty common thread for anyone else who is married. When you are living in close proximity to another human being who is very much like you, but also very much different than you, it is great soil for growth. Add children in the mix and the soil has been well watered and fertilized for further growth! The difference here is that this growth and learning curve came early in my life and I look forward to continued growth and learning in the future. We have all heard that after marriage and the first honey moon phase, love becomes a choice. This is so very much true. I did not want to believe it when I first got married, but now know the depths of its truth. To choose selflessness causes me to rely on God more fully because it doesn’t come naturally to my flesh. To choose to love my spouse even when I wasn’t receiving the love I had dreams about in return, is an importantly large undertaking. Having children and having to surrender all of myself daily to tend to the needs of the boy is reminiscent of daily taking up my cross and requires Jesus’ strength. The level of patience and grace needed, both with my husband and with my children also causes me to rely fully on God. Together we have sorted through and overcame sins and childhood hurts that we brought into our marriage, and our love has also grown deeper as we mature as believers.
It has been an exciting past 6 years, and I am looking forward to what God has in store for our family in the future.
*Ring photo from our wedding courtesy of Joshua Legault
For those of you who were married young, what are your reasons why you think it was a great decision? I would love to hear from you!