I previously wrote this and saved it on my computer, I felt I should share it on here =)
“Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.” -James 3:5
“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness.” -James 3:9
We as Christians really need to be careful what we say to others (and what we type on the computer too!) Especially when trying to give advice to another person! We need to seek the Lord about what or what not to say. If you jump to conclusions about something and throw a scripture at somebody, it’s ususally more comdemning than actual good advice (even if we think our intentions are good). Or if you jump to what you (keyword “you”) think the problem is and then try to figure out the reason for why the problem is happening, and then you give your (keyword “your”) advice on the issue, then you could make somebody feel terrible for something that isn’t even the case or that they might not even need to think about. We need to listen to God’s advice, and try not to say more than what He wants us to. God is the only judge and cousellor. No man, no matter how learned in the Word that He is can look at a problem and judge it accurately- ever. Either we need to say a quick prayer (and not be so quick to speak and give our opinion) or we just need to simply listen to the person (and that’s what most people yearn for anyways- a listening ear).
For example, if somebody was telling you about the fact that they are struggling with a drinking problem and they just can’t seem to kick it. So you, trying to be helpful, think that it might have something to do with a genertional curse of some sort and if it is prayed for then it could stop- and then you proceed to tell them that. The thing is, it could very well actually be from a generational curse passed down to them, but it also could be something completely different that only God knows and can reason. What if all God wanted you to tell that person was that He loves them and He will always be there and that you’re there? That’s not what you just did. Instead, you just told them that them drinking is because of some curse (that you don’t even know for sure- it just made sense to you). Now you send that person away thinking that they are cursed, and then they spend their time thinking and praying about that (taking away from what God really wanted them to pray about- the real problem.) And because they’re not spending the time focusing on what the real problem is, the drinking problem hasn’t stopped. So they beging to think “Oh maybe this curse is here to stay.” And it would lead them to doubt that God doesn’t want to help or that they have no way to get out of the drinking rut.The fact is, God will help them break free of that bondage no matter what you said, but you made it A LOT more difficult for them. And your tongue just spoke a form of a curse over them (even though your intentions were good) You might think that this example is far-fetched, but it really isn’t. Things like this happen everyday. That’s why it is SO imprtant to tame your tongue!
Also, by giving bible verses to someone else, without first seeking the Lord about what He wants, can cause some distruction too. For example, if someone tells you that they were in need of a new place to live because their’s was just getting too small for their family. And you tell them that they just need to have more faith and God will give it to them and send them off with the classic verse about mustard seed sized faith that moves mountains. So they take your advice, and go home and try to somehow improve their faith to get this new house. You just told them what made most sense to you- that when you ask in Jesus’ name you shall recieve if you have faith. They haven’t recieved, so they must not have had “enough” faith. But what if God’s plan was for them to live in that smaller house for awhile so that they could move closer together as a family? Or some other reason that only God knows? Now that person is most likely going to go home and try to “have more faith” and then become more disappointed then before when all their efforts were for nothing. You just played a part in that person’s lost effort, frustration, and disappointment because you were quick to speak.
The same also goes for healings. This is a big one today. I have heard so many people who have been prayed over for healing, and then weren’t healed. The person who prayed over them then told them that they weren’t healed either because they were living in sin or because they didn’t have “enough” faith. That person goes home, feeling so bad about themselves, and tries to search their lives endlessly for what sin they may have commited. Or again, tries to somehow “improve” their faith. What if God allowed for that person not be healed to teach the person who prayed over them to pray fervently and have faith that God will heal that person? By saying that without first praying about it, you just brought a lot of destruction into that person’s life.
Anyhow, I think I’ve typed enough for now =P. Nobody is perfect and we all say the wrong things sometimes or speak too quickly. We can’t try to stop this ourselves. We just need to pray and ask God for Him to help us with our tongue. And surely, that is part of His will, and we shall recieve what we ask for in His name.